she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
