We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Drake has all the answers
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
