Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
