I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Houston, we have a blender
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
