Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm really busy with my period
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