they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
