Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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