I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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