..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
