I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Buhtt sex?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
