omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Randomize
