if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.