So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.