I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.