Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
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he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
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Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.