this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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