in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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