I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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