spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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