So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
