All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
