Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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