Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Congratulations! We have a period
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