o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize