a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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