dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize