Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Bring me that man meat
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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