People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
