Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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