Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
