This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
