OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
