real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
