At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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