U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
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i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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