I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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