remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize