I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
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Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I am naked and annoyed.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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