We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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