That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
