dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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