she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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