i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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