i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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