3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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