1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
