Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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