I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
