If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
