Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
