he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
