Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
