is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize