I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
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Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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