D3 body, D1 cock
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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