Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
