Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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