I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
