he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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